Getting Depressed...

I haven't talked to hubby since his birthday. I didn't even greeted him! Really angry! He said somethings I really can't swallow. I feel I don't deserve it!

Problem now, I'm getting depressed! I feel that my husband does not love me anymore. He's still here but for the sake of the kids. Not because he still loves me. What again triggered this? I saw a profile picture in Facebook of his friend. Now this friend of his I really don't like. But I can't seem to not appreciate how much he loves his family. Unlike my husband who's this hang up on his bachelorhood. Yes, he does think of the children, but not as much as I want to or as much as I think he should. I fear for my kids sake that if I die, their lives will b mediocre. Will not even level up to what my parents gave me. I don't know when he will grow up. But I wish soon.

Now, I am contemplating on really moving on with my personal life. I mean, not to expect anything from him for me. I don't intend to get a lover or get another guys attention. I just don't want to expect anything romantic from him anymore.

I think I failed on that part. As they say, you can't get what you want always. When I was younger, I dreamed and wished for that guy, that romantic guy that will make me feel cherished every single day of my life. I feel I just grabbed what was there. In the end, I'm the one sufferring. I don't know if he's really like that or he fell out of love already. Guess I need to move my butt. No need to make him feel guilty of my feelings. Wish I can be numb...